If Only He Wasn't a Coward
by LadyRae809
Summary: One-shot. Rumplestiltskin has just sent Belle away. He chose his power over her love. She said he would regret his choice...and now he is paying the price.


**The pains of regret is finally sinking in. Rumplestiltskin has just sent Belle away, and there is nothing he can do about it.**

 **This story is based off of the show** ** _Once Upon a Time_** **. I do not own any of the characters. This is just my interpretation of Rumple's feelings after he sent Belle away. Let me know how my writing is! (This is my first ever fan fiction.) Enjoy!**

 _"And I love you, too"._

If only he said those words. If only he wasn't a coward.

Rumplestiltskin sat in the Great Hall; what once was a room once full of fond memories he once shared with the beautiful caretaker had quickly become a vessel of loneliness and heartache. Rumple looked around at the chaos he created only a few hours ago. The cupboard was horribly smashed. Glass and wood covered most of the floor in piles of shards and splinters. Remnants of the porcelain tea set were left in the corner of the room; there were irregular markings on the large pillar where the tea set had been hurled, and tea had begun to settle into the carpet, leaving a terrible stain.

The only survivor of the tea set was cradled in Rumple's hands. His thumb glided ever so gently over the chipped cup as he was lost in thought. Rumplestiltskin, the Dark One, whom countless people feared and hated, had let himself fall in love with a simple maid. Well, perhaps not a maid per say…she had once been, or in fact still is, a princess. But did that not make things more complicated? The most ruthless and wretched being in the entire realm was in love…with a PRINCESS. She was a woman of dignity, grace, and he was a walking nightmare. They couldn't be more wrong for each other.

But for some reason, their lives somehow managed to intertwine with one another. He never thought that she would affect his life so deeply. She possessed an insurmountable kindness he had once forgotten ever existed in others, that is, until he met her that fateful day in her father's palace. From that day forward, his walls came down without his realizing. Slowly, he had let her in his life and she, in turn, allowed him in hers.

He remembered how the excitement and relief flooded his entire being the moment he saw her walking back towards the castle. He sent her to the town to fetch straw; he thought he would never see her again. He somehow managed to gallop down the stairs with just enough time to spare before she entered the Great Hall.

He could not believe she returned. She came back. She had _chosen_ to return.

After that, everything was a daze. He remembered her smile when he told her he wasn't unhappy to see her, how close she was when she was intrigued about his lost son, her eyes that gently pierced his soul as if searching for the man deep inside the beast, and, finally, her lips that softly brushed against his. He remembered then how his heart skipped for only a moment, but he knew right then how much he wanted, and needed, this to happen. He kissed her back with all the tenderness he could give.

That's when it all fell apart

He felt the transformation; all power slowly being sucked away. True Love's Kiss: the curse to end the Dark One and reduce its host to nothing more than a sniveling coward of a man. He reeled back in anger. He had just denied his love for the sake of retaining his power. His mind blurred with fury as he made his way to the mirror. He knew it _had_ to be her. Who else would know how to destroy him? He cursed the Evil Queen for toying with him, for stripping away the only light that had entered his life. He then turned to the confused princess. He sneered in her face as she proclaimed her feelings for him. He would have none of it. He grabbed her by the arm and dragged her back to the dungeon cell, but not before throwing her feelings back in her face; detesting everything she said and denying that she, or anyone, could ever love him.

 _"You just don't think I could love you...and you're going to regret it"._

He had to get rid of her. Send her away. Never lay eyes on her again. He made his choice and decided to choose his power over her. He would not let the Evil Queen win. He was superior. He would not let anything stand in his way. Not even her: his maid. His princess. His light.

Better to live with regret and keep his power than to live the rest of his days as a mortal worth no more than the dirt he walked on. His decision was set, and he stood in silence as he heard her faint footsteps leave the doors of the castle and vanish into the woods beyond. His mind began to clear away of his anger and he was left alone with the remains of his broken castle. He caused much damage to the Great Hall that he did not have the energy to begin cleaning. Instead, he sat down in one of the chairs and merely wallowed in his thoughts. Her words still echoing in his ears long after she had gone.

 _"This means it's true love"! "You just don't think I could love you"._

Love.

She had said that same word over and over. Had she really meant what she said? Did she truly have such deep feelings for an imp who took her away from all her loved ones and forced her to live alone with him for the rest of her mortal days?

Surely not.

But…Belle was not the kind of person to carelessly throw around words that held such depth and meaning. Belle had never once swayed his trust with her words. What she said was said with truth and sincerity. Could he really allow himself to believe that she was only using her words to gain some kind of selfish pleasure at the expense of his own pain?

His head slowly began to pound with a dull throb…perhaps from the resulting fatigue due to his earlier destructive impulse, or maybe, dare he admit, heartache and… _regret_? Perhaps it was a terrible concoction of all three.

Either way, his emotions were awry…just like the state of the Great Hall.

He scoffed at the comparison.

There was no way of getting her back now. He made his choice. It's probably for the best; a princess and a beast cannot be destined together for true love. Not now. Not after he told her those terrible things. Not after he tossed her aside so easily. There was no way she would choose him. It was too late.

If only time travel actually worked. Perhaps then he would consider going back to make amends. To stop her from leaving his castle forever. To maybe consider returning her feelings instead of turning her away. To allow himself, after centuries of grief and solitude, the gift of a happy ending. With her.

 _"And I love you, too"._

If only he said those words. If only he wasn't a coward.


End file.
